My Parents (a long rant)I don't like them. As people. If I met them somewhere they are not the kind of people I'd ever want to really speak to again.
I also don't respect them. They are very weak willed. My sister and I tore each other apart because there was never any discipline in the house. When she stole and broke my things, they never did anything about it so I had to deal with it myself and as a kid the only way I could think of to deal with it was to beat her senseless. My little sisters are just the same way now. They have no chores, no rules, nothing. The house is always trashed. And my parents smoke, drink, and watch TV. From the second they get home they are ALWAYS doing at least one of those things, if not more.
They don't respect me. They constantly mock me, even things I am proud of. When I graduated they laughed at how stupid my robes were and told me I looked lost and confused when I got my diploma and the people giving it to me probably thought I looked so stupid they thought about taking it back. Gee thanks.
I don't feel like they even love me. My parents refused to even pay for lunch for me at school. I went all through grade school up until graduation without ever eating lunch at school that they provided. They never took me shopping to buy me clothes. My grandmother took me once a year to go christmas shopping. The rest of my clothing consisted of (and still mostly consists of) shirts that I got for free or shirts that I got for cheap that I paid for myself from club activities. And speaking of club activities my parents refused to give me a ride to those. I hitched rides with friends mostly or asked my grandparents to go out of the way and help me out. I had to walk at 5:30 in the morning to the bus stop down the road. It was a 20 minute walk and there was no houses all the way from my house to the end of the road. It was dark and in the middle of the forest. From there I had to take an hour long bus ride to school. It's a 10-15 minute drive from our house though...
Whenever I was sad, they teased me or ignored me. When I got the phone call saying my grandmother had died, I told my dad and all he said was, "Well what are you crying for, she had cancer, you knew it was going to happen." Then he went back to the TV. I sobbed alone in my room until I fell asleep and slept for about 20 hours. I didn't eat for a few days. They never once checked in on me or asked me if I was okay or even noticed I wasn't eating. Whenever one of my pets died, I wrapped it up and found a box for it and took it out to the woods where I found a nice tree to bury it under. I usually ended up crying myself to sleep right there on the ground outside. I wonder if they even noticed I didn't come inside.
I also had a lot of chores. I had to keep my room clean, clean the whole kitchen, the whole bathroom, and the entry way. That includes scrubbing things, cleaning dishes, toilets, showers, everything. My sister had the living room, dining room, and downstairs living room as her jobs to clean. I spent a lot of time cleaning up, they made a huge mess and never did anything. Their excuse was they worked all day, they shouldn't have to work in their own home. They even hired people to mow the lawn, or just plain didn't do it. On top of that, I took care of the animals by my own choice. In my life, I have never seen my father clean. Hell, when I was sick, I used to have to clean up my own mess.
In comparison, my little sisters are 8 and 10. They get lunch made for them every day and a ride to school. They're both in cheer-leading (which my parents refused to pay for) and a few other sports. My parents go to every event and game. They have more clothes than I've ever owned and lots of games and toys and things like that. They don't have any chores at all. The house is always a mess now, no one cleans. Last time I went over, I decided to do the dishes since I needed a glass and there was no clean ones. The sink was overflowing with dishes and there was a horrible smell because the sink doesn't have a garbage disposal and they had been putting their plates with food and stuff still on them right in the sink. The stuff in the water was rotting and there was even maggots living in a few bowls. They had been using paper plates and plastic silverware and cups to avoid doing dishes.
My parents have never came to visit me since I moved off to college. I've been there three years and they don't even know where I lived. They have called me a grand total of twice, once to ask me for money and once to tell me some loan school stuff showed up and they weren't paying for it.
They haven't been with me for my birthday since I was 13. They go down to Florida for bike week. I have always spent my birthdays with my grandparents and my animals pretty much alone. When they get back, they give me a t-shirt or stuffed animal.
My 19th birthday they forgot to even call me and wish me a happy birthday. I called them up the next day and asked if they had forgotten something and they couldn't remember anything they forgot.
My parents borrow my money and never repay me. I got 1500 dollars total for graduation presents... I never saw any of that. My step-mom took it out of my bank account without my permission and used it to buy a bike trailer for my dad's motorcycle for his birthday. They have since sold it to pay bills. I still haven't been repaid.
The one thing my parents have ever done for me is buy me a car. I love my car, it's pretty. I feel proud of it when people see me driving it. Seems stupid, but it makes me feel like when people see me with that car, they think better of me. I like that.
Every time I call, though, they demand to know why I haven't called more and give me a guilt trip about how I don't love my family and I don't care about them. Every time I stay over there, I sleep on the couch. They don't offer to get pillows or blankets for me, I have to bring them myself. I have nothing over there except what I bring for the weekend. They don't even have internet and I don't watch TV. And they ignore me. They sit there and watch TV. They drink. They smoke. They don't talk to me, they don't really respond when I talk to them. They bitch at me when I'm doing something they don't like and they try to get me to do the dishes.
Then they tell me because I wont stay longer and I don't come over often enough, I must not care.
You know, I start to think about it and I think maybe that's true. Looking back on my life, I can't think of much good they ever did me or any time I really felt like I just really loved my parents and that they loved me back.
The only reason I know that I do care is that when they tell me what a horrible daughter I am, it hurts.
It wouldn't hurt if I didn't care...
Distressed
Sadness
Excited
Peaceful
Content
